Catching Up...

Oh my, a lot has happened. Things that I don't really want to talk about to be honest. Most of you already know, and a few don't. But to sum it up the last 3 weeks of my life have not been awesome. I have had my heart broken in ways I can't even begin to explain. I have faced challenges of anxiety I didn't even know existed, so paralyzing that I honestly didn't know if I would survive it. Every day has gotten a little easier, but the pain is still there. And I wonder if it will ever completely go away. I have been through break ups, I have lost friends, but nothing like this. I wake up in the morning waiting for the pain to be gone, the sick feeling in my stomach to leave, but it's there. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the disbelief. I know the pain will fade over time, but I don't believe it will ever completely go away. This time I think it was just a bit too deep to forget...to heal.